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COACHING INTO GREATNESS
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DISTINCTION: DESERVING VS RECEIVING
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Do we ever really deserve anything Karma aside, the idea that we deserve a particular outcome is silly It s a completely external focus, and it s a perfect recipe for suffering Receiving is an active state It s something we do as a result of having taken some action I actively receive money from my work I don t deserve it, but I do receive it
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CONDITIONED BELIEFS OF EXPECTATION I ve worked hard, and I deserve to (get a raise, promotion, better job ) As long as I stay on the up-and-up, I ll be treated well I m an honest (kind) person, so I expect others to be honest (kind) with me Just stay the course, and everything will work out Of course, life should be fair
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THE CONDITIONED PATTERN OF POWERLESSNESS
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Our greatest fear is not that we are powerless Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
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I can t stand whiners I have little tolerance and patience for people who feel the need to complain and whine when things don t go their way Maybe it s a part of my own conditioned pattern related to control and the Illusion of Struggle, but the truth is that they drive me nuts The conditioned pattern of Powerlessness is at the heart of whining, and it s one of the more visible patterns of the Illusion of Hope You see it all the time: Sally and Jim hope they can buy a new home in a nicer neighborhood But, the real estate market changed, they had a bad realtor, or they were simply too busy to move fast enough to get the house of their dreams Then, they blame everyone and everything else for their inability to get their new home They are powerless in the face of all these huge external forces 192
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The Illusion of Hope
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Powerlessness is characterized by a person feeling trapped, victimized, and out of choices in the face of external forces
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Powerlessness is a conditioned pattern Why is it that we can read about people who overcame great odds to accomplish some fantastic feat, but we can t for the life of us manage to get to an appointment on time We re powerless because of heavy traf c, kids who won t cooperate, or some other such excuse If we really faced the truth of the situation, we d see that this supposed Powerlessness is a clever ruse to keep us resisting doing what we can do Why Well, we might fail! If you get right down to the core of it, you ll see that people act powerless because it s far easier to blame circumstances than to go ahead and do it anyway, and maybe look really stupid in the process So we give our power away to others It s like we re saying, No, please, you take my power This way, I can blame you if things don t work out right The Illusion of Hope attempts to prove that we re powerless In reality, it s avoidance an avoidance of responsibility and an avoidance of making decisions People say Yes when they mean No They forget that it s okay to set boundaries They re nice people who feel it s their duty to get trampled, and then they complain that there was nothing else I could do They unquestionably conform to what s expected of them, because that is far easier than making a decision for themselves that just might turn out badly Some conditioned thoughts of Powerlessness: I m not the one in charge here, so there s really nothing I can do I believe that my fate is in God s hands (it may be, but that s no excuse to avoid responsibility) They won t let me (government, rich people, or anyone who appears to have more power) What s the use of trying The odds are clearly stacked against me THE CONDITIONED PATTERN OF ASSUMPTIONS
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