Part V: Engaging Others in VS .NET

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Part V: Engaging Others
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Unless you re a graphic artist, don t be tempted by fancy fonts or colour schemes, any kind of animation, or even clip art. And use slide-builds sparingly. What looks great on your office screen when you are preparing all too often looks awful when projected onto a big screen. Always test your presentation on the actual equipment you will be using. Never, ever attempt to use external links to the Internet or to some kind of live demonstration unless you are a specialist, and even then only with caution. Have a contingency plan in case your equipment fails or won t behave itself. Have copies of the slides to hand out, but don t do this before you speak unless you don t mind people flicking through the packet while you re talking. Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. Time yourself and get your script down onto a few cue cards. This will ensure you are confident in what you are going to say, and in your timings. Always bear in mind the golden rules of technology when making any kind of presentation involving projection or sound equipment: what can go wrong will go wrong sooner or later, and less is more in the balance of complexity versus clarity. Keep things simple and allow yourself the chance to connect with your audience. You will improve your skills most effectively through practice and feedback. So seek out opportunities in non-work situations to hone your developing skills. Adult education classes in local colleges, women s groups, and your local church are always on the lookout for speakers. Offer yourself up for the experience and do your learning where you won t have to live with the consequences.
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Rejecting manipulation and bullying
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Bullying is all too common in the workplace. Surveys show that millions of people in the UK feel bullied every day at work, which takes a heavy toll on confidence. If you feel you are a victim of serious bullying at work, seek professional help from your HR or union representative, or perhaps your functional director. Bullying is never acceptable, by anyone, in any circumstances. Whilst the unacceptability of bullying is perfectly clear in cases of physical intimidation or sexual and racial harassment, the less dramatic, lower-intensity form of bullying by shouting, verbal abuse, and manipulation can sap your self-esteem just as surely as a flagrant assault.
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15: Demonstrating Confidence in the Workplace
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The manipulative bully s techniques include sarcasm, unjustified criticism, trivial faultfinding and humiliation, especially in front of others. It can also include your being overruled, isolated, and otherwise excluded from team activities. All this is calculated to sap your self-confidence to make you more of a target. You protect yourself best by refusing to play the victim. Recognise that it is the bully who is inadequate and needs fixing, not you. Don t be taken in by criticism, even though it may have a grain of truth in it. No amount of improvement in your performance will satisfy your bully; a bully isn t interested in improving you, only in having control over you. If you seem to attract such people either into your professional or your private life, it may be because you exhibit certain personality traits that mark you as a target for someone with a bullying personality. This is not your fault. Table 15-1 contains practical tips on how to offset tendencies that make you easy prey for bully boys (and girls).
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Table 15-1
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Tendency
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You want to please.
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Personality Traits and Being Bullied
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Counter Behaviours
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Accept that you will never be able to please everyone, especially a bully. Set yourself sensible limits. Learn how to be more assertive. Be more objective; ask others opinions. Realize that perfection isn t possible and turn to 9. Learn to value yourself (see 5). Ask yourself whether what you re expected to do is fair and reasonable.
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You take on more and more to gain approval. You find it hard to say no . You have a strong desire to think well of others. You want things to be perfect. You have a strong need to feel valued. You tend to discount your own contributions.
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Your first step in dealing successfully with a bully is to take control. Acknowledge your need to be more assertive, and look at that section in this chapter. There is almost certainly something you can do to stop yourself being victimised. Consider the following
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