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Mapping your own journey
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The chapters throughout this book help you gain a deepening understanding of your values and sense of purpose. For now, it is enough that you have a few well-defined areas you would like to change or improve while your deeper sense of purpose is emerging. The SMART model is a popular and easy-to-use system for making change happen. You address the aspect that each letter stands for in sequence. Think of something you want to bring into your life right now and write down your answers as you work through the following list: S stands for specific. Define what you want to achieve as specifically as possible. If it s a car you re after, decide on the make, the model, the colour, trim, year, and the price you are prepared to pay. Find a picture or two of the specific car you want and pin them up in strategic places where you will see
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Part I: Considering the Basics
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them every day. The more specific you are, the more effective your goal-achieving behaviour becomes. M stands for measurable. With an object such as a car measuring your achievement is easy you either have it or you don t. But your progress towards some goals is more difficult to measure. Say your objective is to be more present with your family. First you must decide what this means specifically (the amount of time you spend at home, how long you focus on your partner s conversation, and so on) and then you can set up your equally specific measures. And don t forget to write them down. A stands for attainable. The trick here is to make your goal a challenge and a stretch without it being overwhelming. Athletes are good at this. They constantly set themselves new challenges, personal bests, and so on, pushing on their performance standards to new heights in challenging chunks. You can set intermediate goals if necessary to keep yourself moving in the right direction. R stands for rewarding. Asking yourself regularly why you want to achieve a particular goal and linking this to your growing confidence about who you re being in the world and what you re doing with your time are absolutely critical and often forgotten. Having the why written down and available in your moments of weakness provides you with the motivation to carry on, to get through this tough patch, and to move on towards your goal. The bigger the reward, the stronger your motivation. With a big enough why you will never give up. T stands for time. Having a deadline can be very motivating. It keeps you focused on achievement against plan and allows you to set up milestones for your bigger, more complicated goals. If your goal is to achieve your ideal weight by Christmas, then December 25 becomes your deadline, and you can work backwards from then to set yourself a series of intermediate goals. Your increasing insights into how to set goals and achieve the things you want in life are an enormous support to your growing confidence. You can never know what is around the next corner, but you can rely on your growing skills and understanding to get you through it. Onwards and upwards! When you re at your most powerful and confident, the things you take on in the world, the way you behave, your skills, experiences, and competencies, what is important to you, your beliefs, your sense of who you are and what you are here to do are all of a piece making you, in self-help terms, congruent or aligned.
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3: Charting Your Course Ahead
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Setting milestones along the way
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A good technique for broad-brush, big-picture goal setting is to think about how you want things to be in your healthy old age. Choose an age, say 85, and picture yourself at the centre of your network of family and friends doing whatever it is you want to be doing at that age. Focus on what you re doing, how fit and healthy you are, what your weight is, how you occupy your time, and what you enjoy doing. Now figure out what you need to be like at 65 to make this possible, and at 50, and so on. By thinking backwards, you can add layer after layer of detail, as much as you want to give yourself a much clearer sense of what you need to make happen over the next five to ten years to give you the life you want.
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