Effectiveness is doing what s most essential without compromising who you are being in the process in Java

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Effectiveness is doing what s most essential without compromising who you are being in the process
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Thinking is important It s what motivational speakers often refer to as the difference between doing and being Joe, in the story earlier, who is busy doing, often misses opportunities to be more effective Mary, who spent her energy being great was able to accomplish far more, and in less time Mary showed up authentically, even though she was chastised for doing so She worked in alignment with her visions, values, goals, and her inherent greatness Effectiveness, then, is about both what you do or don t do, and how you do or don t do it Busyness, on the other hand, is only concerned with doing it cares not one iota for either what you do or how you do it 104
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The Illusion of Comparisons Effectiveness freely incorporates both being and doing It s easy to see which of the two will create the greatest amount of personal satisfaction, ful llment, and happiness! CULTIVATING THE CONSCIOUS PATTERN OF EFFECTIVENESS If you re still operating under the belief that being busy will get you what you want, then stop Start being Effective instead To cultivate the conscious pattern of Effectiveness, you ll also have to practice discipline Our culture abhors discipline, but Effectiveness demands discipline It s not just about doing the right things Living into Greatness is about doing the right things for the right reasons and in the right way Like it or not, this does take discipline perhaps more discipline than you ve ever been accustomed to Cultivate the following beliefs: If I take the time to think about what I m about to do, then when I do it (or not), the results will be that much better Once I understand where I m going, and why I m going there, the journey will be much more pleasant and easy I really can stop, turn around, or change directions if it means reaching my goals sooner
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THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF COMPARISONS
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Fundamentally, the marksman aims at himself EUGEN HERRIGEL
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Remember the story of Eileen at the beginning of the chapter She has quite the dilemma she just took on a new job and now has an offer for a more pleasing job at two-thirds her present salary To whom does she listen, and why Many of us are faced with similar situations, and our impulse is often to seek outside assistance and guidance While there is nothing wrong with seeking guidance from others, doing so tips toward scarcity when the external guidance takes precedence over the ultimate source of truth the internal guide The following sections will apply the Coaching into Greatness fourstep process to Eileen s situation 105
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COACHING INTO GREATNESS AWARENESS If you re walking through a dark tunnel, headed toward a low-hanging beam, how do you become aware of the beam without banging your head Simple: Turn on your ashlight In Eileen s case, the ashlight is her willingness to see that her reliance on External Drivers is getting in her way People under the illusion that their answers about life can be found by comparing themselves to others haven t learned to trust themselves Eileen then needs to build faith in her ability to make good decisions She ll do well by focusing her natural Empathy inward She d probably been deeply hurt by a past self-made decision and needs to learn how to go easy on herself when a decision doesn t turn out perfectly (which is exactly what happens to all of us) Everyone has had positive experiences from following their gut instincts or intuition Don t let your coachee get away easy, because awareness is absolutely critical to developing Self-Empathy You can ask Eileen: How do you feel after you ve made a decision (even if that decision was to not decide) based mostly on the suggestions of others Describe a time when you followed your gut What happened What were the results, and how did you feel If you had to decide right here and now, and your life depended on your decision, what would it be What would you do if you weren t allowed to ask anyone for advice ACCEPTANCE Like all illusions, the Illusion of Comparisons requires a bit of a balancing act Others often do have more experience and more knowledge Some have less experience and knowledge While we can always learn from those who ve gone before us, we have to remember and accept that our experience is unique What works for Oprah might not work for you However, you can still learn from her experiences Eileen must accept her own unique skills, talents, and wisdom She can gather research and learn from observing others, but ultimately she must accept that the decision is hers to make If she knew there was 106
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The Illusion of Comparisons no way to fail, what decision would she make I might ask her to ip a coin heads she stays, tails she takes the new job After she ips the coin, I ll ask which side she wished would come up Invariably, this will provide the true internal direction Acceptance requires understanding the reasons a particular decision is made, as well as the reasons you re hesitant to decide Usually, hesitance comes from either a real lack of information, or from the Illusion of Comparisons Awareness of the reasons for the resistance will help facilitate acceptance of both the illusion and the aptitude CONSISTENT ACTION The consistent action that helps to develop Self-Empathy is the process of Self-Inquiry Doubt often stems from a lack of trust in oneself This trust begins with an internal investigation into the fears and doubts that keeps people from trusting their inner knowledge, wisdom, and intuition This self-exploration naturally leads to physical and concrete actions For example, as Eileen accepts her Capacity to decide on her own, she ll come to a decision point about her work This is the moment of truth when she either accepts or rejects her gut instincts One way to help her get beyond the external voices is to put a time limit on the decision process Then, and this is important for someone like Eileen once a decision is made, she can t reverse the decision Her consistent action will be an unwavering allegiance to her decision no matter what happens It is also crucial that the cycle of the four-step process be followed Doubts will form, and Eileen may sabotage her own efforts as a way of proving that she can t believe her own intuition Each action must be evaluated on the basis of whether it helps her to achieve her goals, and not whether it is a good or bad action She ll want to put things in terms of good/bad or right/wrong Actions are neither good nor bad they either help you to get what you want, or they don t AUTHENTICITY
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The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it There is no what should be, there is only what is LENNY BRUCE
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COACHING INTO GREATNESS There s a saying that when one nally moves beyond the struggle over how to choose, there is nothing left but a choicelessness Ideally, Eileen will understand her own greatness Then it s not about making a right/wrong or good/bad choice, but rather about simply Living into her Greatness in each moment She sees what she wants to create for herself, and day by day takes action to get what she wants She realizes that it may not turn out exactly as she envisions (it most likely won t), but rather than living a life based on Comparisons, she authentically lives her life
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